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valancy_janeI am a parent. I sometimes think this should be more astonishing than it is; in general, it seems very normal and part of the flow of things, and I occasionally forget to mention it when I speak to an old friend, as if she has always been there, and it is everyone else that is new.
What is new is my tremendous lack of time. Again, it seems rather normal; I am also not worried as I know it will get easier. But I do find myself flailing rather like a wounded octopus every single time I have a few spare minutes; it is impossible to do laundry, write, clean the kitchen, catch up on email, write email, write a journal entry, make dinner, play video games, read, and spend time with family simultaneously, but I do sometimes attempt it. Occasionally I find myself literally panting with anxiety as I try to figure out what to do because I have a full ten minutes free. Time off is more unnerving, in some ways, than time not off.
Still: things are good. I just do wish I could back to a few unparentish thoughts, as I begin to wonder when I will ever have a little free time and brain for something besides diapers.
What is new is my tremendous lack of time. Again, it seems rather normal; I am also not worried as I know it will get easier. But I do find myself flailing rather like a wounded octopus every single time I have a few spare minutes; it is impossible to do laundry, write, clean the kitchen, catch up on email, write email, write a journal entry, make dinner, play video games, read, and spend time with family simultaneously, but I do sometimes attempt it. Occasionally I find myself literally panting with anxiety as I try to figure out what to do because I have a full ten minutes free. Time off is more unnerving, in some ways, than time not off.
Still: things are good. I just do wish I could back to a few unparentish thoughts, as I begin to wonder when I will ever have a little free time and brain for something besides diapers.
