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The news is out; at 21 weeks
Apr. 27th, 2012 01:03 pmThe past two weeks have been a delight and a shock. I could with very little prompting enumerate a dozen miserable pregnancy symptoms, but without the crippling nausea, which has almost entirely disappeared, I feel comparatively great. The only part I can't quite adjust to is the pain; it's minor, but is pretty constant. Since focusing on it would just be depressing, I've simply ignored it as best I can.
That sounds depressing, but I realize in fact that I may be the happiest I've ever been. There's a fair dollop of frustration in there because of the pregnancy challenges, but there are so many good things right now that I can mostly ignore it it. C & I have never been happier as a couple, and we are deliriously happy to have made it this far in the pregnancy without "real" problems (my blood pressure, heart, kidneys, and blood sugar look shockingly good). To our surprise, we have also found ourselves increasingly unworried and relaxed about the whirlwind a child is expected to bring; being older first-time parents, we've weathered enough storms to figure this is just one more exciting time that we'll get through and adjust to.
In fact, we find ourselves oddly more confident the further we get in the pregnancy about every decision we make. Even silly things, like shelves, which have lingered for two years in the decision-making, we solved in a two-minute discussion the other day. Everything is simultaneously less important and more important; I worry less about things that used to bother me tremendously, and feel incredibly grateful for the real important things, those Thanksgiving-table things of family, food on the table, a dog, a home.
The only part I really worry about is that everything is so us-centric right now. I am just now reaching the point where I can get more than the essentials done; I do tire easily, but it's a far more normal kind of tiredness, not that forced-march haze of exhaustion that lasted for months. The problem is, I'm still catching up. I've gotten the house mostly in order, but the yard is bordering on the city getting called, and the list of to-do's - the urgent ones alone - is intimidating. As a result, my personal work and friends are rather neglected. I don't like this, but I find I haven't yet the energy to change it. I'm hoping that once we get just a few more things knocked out, I'll be able to spare a little more mental space.
That sounds depressing, but I realize in fact that I may be the happiest I've ever been. There's a fair dollop of frustration in there because of the pregnancy challenges, but there are so many good things right now that I can mostly ignore it it. C & I have never been happier as a couple, and we are deliriously happy to have made it this far in the pregnancy without "real" problems (my blood pressure, heart, kidneys, and blood sugar look shockingly good). To our surprise, we have also found ourselves increasingly unworried and relaxed about the whirlwind a child is expected to bring; being older first-time parents, we've weathered enough storms to figure this is just one more exciting time that we'll get through and adjust to.
In fact, we find ourselves oddly more confident the further we get in the pregnancy about every decision we make. Even silly things, like shelves, which have lingered for two years in the decision-making, we solved in a two-minute discussion the other day. Everything is simultaneously less important and more important; I worry less about things that used to bother me tremendously, and feel incredibly grateful for the real important things, those Thanksgiving-table things of family, food on the table, a dog, a home.
The only part I really worry about is that everything is so us-centric right now. I am just now reaching the point where I can get more than the essentials done; I do tire easily, but it's a far more normal kind of tiredness, not that forced-march haze of exhaustion that lasted for months. The problem is, I'm still catching up. I've gotten the house mostly in order, but the yard is bordering on the city getting called, and the list of to-do's - the urgent ones alone - is intimidating. As a result, my personal work and friends are rather neglected. I don't like this, but I find I haven't yet the energy to change it. I'm hoping that once we get just a few more things knocked out, I'll be able to spare a little more mental space.
